


Widows and Orphans

by untouchableface



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied Hawke/Varric, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Late Night Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21817747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untouchableface/pseuds/untouchableface
Summary: Left alone with her thoughts, Hawke can't resist the darkness.
Relationships: Female Hawke/Varric Tethras, Hawke/Varric Tethras
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Widows and Orphans

It hurt sometimes, when she stopped to think about it.

Of course there was the easy joke - low-hanging fruit, really. That she and Varric were just a couple of orphans who didn’t know any better than to cling to one another… and until recently, Hawke hadn’t stopped to think that you could still become an orphan at any age.

As fucked up as their dynamic had been, Bethy and Carver and her mother had still been her _family_. And now she was the only one left, the last of the Hawke line.

Even when she was a child herself, Hawke hadn’t really liked many other children. Bethany mostly had been the exception; how could she not love someone who was practically a miniature version of herself. But Carver somehow had been too much like her for her to love properly. And now they were both gone.

Varric - bless him - had somehow understood the fraught dynamic between her and Leandra. More than once, he had offered up his suite at the Hanged Man so that she wouldn’t have to go back to the never-ending fight between the two of them. Nothing she had ever done for her mother had been enough for her love and acceptance, not really. A few deathbed _bon mots_ weren’t enough to change that; Hawke wasn’t naive enough to really believe that. In death, she had given her mother a final kindness by pretending to accept those words, but the truth was they had constantly failed each other right up until the end.

She wondered sometimes… did she really love Varric, or just the stability he gave her? The soft place to land he offered without question. The drinks and the laughs they shared, so she could shove her pain into a vault somewhere in her mind and pretend it didn’t exist.

Except Varric was gone now too. Kirkwall burned, and she had fled. He was off saving the world with a new hero, because she had failed him too.

Hawks were supposed to be solitary creatures anyway, weren’t they?

But on nights like this, when she was alone and there were no more drinks, no more shallow laughter, that darkness came crawling back. More than anything, Hawke missed having a family.


End file.
